What I learned

I learned several things from Gottman's book.  Guess what, I don't have it all figured out! Haha, no really.  I love my relationship with my husband, we have fun together and typically communicate well and enjoy being with each other.  I learned that there are many areas I can improve upon.  I learned that "stonewalling" or a "cold shoulder" is how I typically deal with conflict and usually that perpetuates the problem. It has already helped us in our marriage by me recognizing that and making sure that I am communicating instead of trying to pretend it's not there.  I learned that repair attempts help make a disagreement not become a huge deal.  I learned that there is nothing a couple cannot come back from if they are both willing to be humble and do the work that is required to have a happy marriage.   

Gottman sums up perfectly how we can continue to improve our own marriages.  He said, "Even making just a small gently shift in the trajectory of your marriage can have dramatic, positive effect over time.  The catch, of course, is that you have to build on the change and keep it going.  Improving your marriage is a kind of journey. Like all voyages, it begins by suspending disbelief, taking one small step, then seeing where you are and taking the next step."