One Big Happy Family


"Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and extended Families" by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen really hit home to me.  Our biggest struggle in our marriage has been our extended family. I come from a large loud family with seven siblings.   My husband has two siblings.  Obviously there is a big difference.  We love to play games, make each other laugh and tease each other and play sports.  My husband's family is more quiet and generally just sit around and talk.  I love his family but it was just a lot different than what I was used to.  
Our families were in the same ward and one of the things that made it harder when we were first married is that we lived in the same ward after we were married as well.  We both wanted to sit by our families in church or go to our families house for Sunday dinner. We didn't have a plan starting out was also a big mistake.  We later developed a plan but we both would have been a lot happier if we had a plan for navigating this early stage in our marriage.
One of our first Christmas' together we were at one family's house Christmas eve then drove 3 hours to the other family's house late Christmas morning.  It was then that we vowed to not ever to that again.  We came up with a plan to alternate Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving with each of our families.  So we didn't have to split the time and each family would have our full attention while we were with them.    It has also helped to strengthen each of our bonds with each other's families.  
Six months after we were married we moved about 3 hours away from both of our families and that is when I feel like our marriage was really strengthened.  We had to rely on each other and confide our thoughts and feelings to each other more.  We were also able to attend the temple the temple once a week which really helped increase our faith and our bond together.  Family is important but don't let them come between you and your spouse.

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