Divorce

Divorce has impacted me in my life.  My parents got a divorce when I was 24, after I was married and had started a family.  My parents obviously divorced for a reason, but I am not sure if in long the run they should have.
            They argued a lot and didn’t seem to like each other very much.  My dad would try to make grand gestures, but they were a bit too little too late. In the grand scheme of things obviously I wish they could have got a long and worked it out, but I think they would have had to be two totally different people.  What it came down to was stubbornness and selfishness.  My dad was abrasive, loud and quick tempered.  My mom was jaded and unforgiving at times.  They tried marriage counseling a little as far as I know, but nothing really changed.  When I was in high school my mom would gather all of us older kids and ask us if we thought she should divorce Dad, most of us kids agreed that it was for the best.  Looking back as an adult, I can see that my mom should have never involved us kids like she did.  Watching the Barbara Walters video made me really sad for those kids and for me, I wondered what I would have said to my parents as a kid, in regards to their marriage. Looking back my parent’s marriage affected my own relationships without even realizing it at the time.  I think as kids it brought us closer together but made our own marriages suffer at times.  I think I was able to use my parents' experience as an advantage in my own marriage.  I saw clearly what not to do and have been successful in my marriage.  I have been extremely blessed by the man I married, he is kind, selfless and forgiving and a great example to me.
            It all really boils down to how much work an individual is willing to put in to have a happy marriage.  Dallin H. Oaks stated, “I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache.”  I think if they both would have been humble and repented like Elder Oaks suggested then their marriage would have survived.  My mom passed away a year and a half ago and remains sealed to my dad.  Will they have the chance to work it out in the next life?  I am not sure if it is possible, but I hope they get the opportunity.

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